I've always been a big advocate of making mistakes. Not intentionally of course. But if you're making mistakes, it's a sign that you're pushing the boundaries a bit, that you're expanding your horizons and are doing things a bit different.
Yet I know that you can never use this as an excuse for just screwing up. There is a difference between a mistake and screwing up and i've noticed that most people don't know the difference.
I'll use my younger brother as a good example.
After a night at the pub with some friends, my brother announced that he was petrified because he thought he had got a girl pregnant that he had known for little more than a month. I laid into the poor chap, called him an absolute moron of the highest order and basically made him feel a hell of a lot worse. Some of our friends came to his defence and said "are you saying you've never made a mistake?"
Of course, I was not trying to say this. I make mistakes all the damn time. But I was not criticising a mistake, I was criticising his screw up.
A mistake is when you take a calculated, managed risk that doesn't pay off. Or you take a risk that you weren't aware you were taking due to lack of or poor information. Getting a girl pregnant that you have known for less than a month is not covered by that definition.
In today's society, it is pretty much expected for most couples to be having sex quite soon into the relationship so I can't say it was a screw up because the shouldn't have been having sex.
However, both of them have responsibilities. They both, independently, need to take responsibility for themselves and their futures. My brother's only necessary course of action is to where a condom. That is his only option that will prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs. She is equally responsible for herself so she should make sure that she is on the pill. It's free, there is no excuse for not taking one of the various forms of the pill. It could be argued that she should also use her own barrier protection but, as she can verify whether her partner is wearing a condom beforehand (and deny consent accordingly) it seems overkill to have two barriers.
Neither of these two precautions were taken. This was not due to a lack of, or poor information. They are fully aware of how it all works.
At this point, they have not made a mistake. They have not taken a calculated managed risk. They did something that they new would have huge implications for the rest of their lives if it went wrong, they did not take common sense precautions and they stood to gain nothing from this activity.
And despite being fully aware of the possible consequences, not taking the appropriate precautions and doing it anyway, they also consciously chose not to take actions after the event to reduce any of the risks. Whilst being fully aware of the situation and being fully aware that the only sensible course of action, the only justifiable course of action and the absolutely only course of action that should have been on their mind was to go to a pharmacist and get the morning after pill, they decided that it was not worth the effort. They decided that the course of the rest of their lives was not worth the effort of doing the only sensible thing. This is absolutely incredible to me. There is absolutely nothing more important to do in this situation.
This was a screw up on top of a screw up on top of a screw up. This was not a risk that did not pay off. A risk has a possible benefit and a possible cost. This only had a possible cost. This was two people being independently moronically stupid and then being jointly moronically stupid again just to compound their idiocy.
Take risks, and manage them. But don't just screw up. Screwing up is what all those wasters you remember from school are doing with their lives.
And if you do screw up, admit it for what it is. You were not unlucky, you were stupid and you deserve to pay the consequences.
